Ears on wheels

By JEANNETTE

(The Plum, Ohio) My dearies, I shall never be the same after August; and September does not look like it shall be any more restful. Most all of the bars have some type of event this month and I must put in an apperance at all of them. I'm taking my vacation at CPI this year!!!

your hair so Rula Lenska can climb the stair. -Greg, If I had known that Jack was your other half, things would not have been that pleasant. The stories I could tell you. -Eddie, I hear you're already making plans for the December anniversary; I didn't know that "Grauman's Chinese" took advance movie reservations. And, is it Steve and Eddie, Steve and Edye, or, maybe, Killer and Spike?

My trip to London was a scream -so many snobs were onboard The Concorde that I couldn't cope. I took my Valium Next time you're in town, and slept like a "chicken." The Gene, make sure you get the wedding was outlandish -those "royal" tour. -Who is the new English queens really know how "Teddy Bear" in Mike's life? -L to give a party. I've never seen B, you really must stop getting anything like it here in the States yourself cornered. Perhaps, you -silk, chiffon, and jewels for should "turn them off" by informdays -I can't tell you the number ing them about your skills at of times I "pee'd" my gown. I Grand Prix racing. -Bruce, hope really won't go into detail; I'm your surgical scars have disapsure most of you saw the festivipeared by now. -Philip, how did ties on your "tellies", but this you explain the toenail polish to affair will certainly go down in your Vic Tanny instructor? I suphistory as "The Pop Heard pose you told him that it was the 'Round The World." newest diet fad? But I thought Since my last deadline, Donna glitter was high in calories. -Summer was at Blossom. I was Tom M, what did Toady do fortunate to be there, and let me tomake you over 2 hours late for tell you, it was the largest fruit work? Think up a good one this salad I've ever seen -there were time. -Ronnie and Tony, heard fruits of all types, shapes and about Rev. Ron's ceremony; sizes! It truly was enjoyable. By hope you're both very happy. the way, the West 6th Street Weren't Jimmie and Kevin just library was so crowded after the lovely "attendants"?-show, for a moment, I thought Donna, herself, was there sign-, crackers? I'll bet you weren't Cy, how were the cheese and ing autographs. thrown out of bed either. -Tom, All Star Weekend was this past what do you mean by, "it gets month, too -there were so many longer, but not wider"? I'm afraid new faces in town. Is there some to fin dout! -Carol, aren't you way we can convince the city to afraid to discuss your medical have these kinds of events more problems out loud, and so close frequently? I'm all in favor of it-to home? I'm surprised those just love new blood. men at your table didn't get up I must stop wasting space; and leave you behind! Hope your there is more than enough jaw has recovered by now. And, "juice" to print so much that I tell me honestly, where do yu find had to cut a lot (Mary Strassall those "hot" men? I think meyer, I have always envied you, your line about jewelry is just great, Steve, "Once it's in, I like to leave it in. I really don't like to take it out." I couldn't agree with you more.

but I now know that your job is not an easy one -I only do it once a month; you do it every day!). So, here are the "hot" items: Tim, how is the sunlight in your backyard these days? Where else would you get those invisible tan lines? Good luck on your new career as a "farmer"; will you be hiring "slave labor"? -Helen and Marty, who is that gorgeous-voiced woman answering your phone these days? She sounds so luscious. Is it true that Marty brought her home one night and you both agreed to keep her? Are things truly that busy, or are you finding the constant interruptions unbearable? Just what is an "RChee"? -Karen, I heard about that skinnydipping party at Edgewater with Larry, Mark, and Bill. I never knew you were into "snake mating"; was it a successful mate? -Mark, just remember that queens who go camping are bound to be "uncovered". -Jimmie, how are Agatha and Maxine since they came out? Are they still wearing their flea collars, or don't cats neck? -Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down

David B, if you keep hiring help like William you just might have to expand the back room. -Dan M, are you really sure the ceiling was moving, or could your head have been up in the iar? -Yes, Mort, someone has returned to Cleveland and is still causing you grief. And you thought yu had left the "theatrics" to "performers". -F Florence Fellini, what does the first "F" mean? Is it something you love, something you love to do, or both? -Bill B, you may tell some people that your name is "Bob", but you can't fool everyone. The five dollar investment has gone a long way; hope you haven't been sweating too long, at least your arm is out of the cast. -Lynn, you really are a life safer. -Randall's loss is Olmsted's gain, Dan. And, in case you haven't noticed, “Pudgie" is gaining back those "love handles"; you'd better start working them off. -Tom, you aren't the only one who wants a baby; Black

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Beauty is still looking for one too.--Rudy, you make uniformity look good even to an eccentric. -Alan, Hungarian men should be outlawed, especially those with gorgeous smiles. -Tara, you look so bored since the air traffic controllers' strike. What's wrong. are you afraid to fly to New York? And what's the story with the 40acre Hampton estate, or should I ask Scott? -Stanley, so that's what keeps you so busy on your nights off. I find it amazing.

Have you heard about the new "melon" that's about to be marketed in Cleveland? It's called a

"mall" melon; juicy, seedless and bitter, but still worth every cent of its $20.00 price. -When did Pattie Dukemove to town, or is that her identical cousin dancing up a storm on West 9th Street? -George M, the dirty talk just may get you into trouble one of these days. -Peter, do the roses only bloom on Saturdays? I'm told that that's the only day that you like to "pluck" them. -The Bar Wench tells me that Princess Fly has been laying quite a few eggs about town these days. Is that the truth? Has anyone ever told you, David M, that you look appetizing in your apron? -Bob J's moves in the bars are certainly quite "artistic." But do they ball" star. What team had you get you anywhere? -Michael, I never knew you were a "baseplayed with before yo got the "ax"? -Richard, what's your favorite exhibit at the Aquarium, or can't you say? -Brad, congratulations on winning the "Ugliest Bartender" competition. Just how did you do it? -Yes, Richard, that really was who you thought it was. Surprise, surprise! -I got wind that Steve K threw an absolutely dynamite party recently. The guest list was quite impressive. I understand that Bruce, the son of Myrnafurre, was the "life" of the party.-Max, have you had many visitors to your apartment lately? Well, wny that you don't remember being there?

Leroy, you are the only man I know whose age is also his chest size. Where do you buy suits that large? -Bambi, who is the VIP you want at your party? I didn't

SEPTEMBER 1981-HIGH GEAR Page 15

know the Shah was Puerto Rican. -The "Sugar Daddies" are all onto Jason after their note comparisons, but, from what I overheard, it sounded more like a Well. medical conference. Randy and Steve, how are the blind dates from Akron these days? Is it true that this may be the start of a new "roommate" service?--

--

Are things so boring in Elyria that two lovers would travel all the way to Cleveland, on a Sunday night at that, to find a partner for "bridge"? And why, of all places, at the library? -The ice room at Exedra is waiting. Paul. How long has it been? -Party invitations will be going out soon for George and John's anniversary. This one promises to be less "holy" than the last party they had. -Kit, I never knew you had your tongue caged up during working hours. All this time thought you were wearing

braces.

H, are you sure you meant two from the front and not the back? Or, perhaps, you were just looking at things "upside down". Miss Ray, just why was your phone ringing off the hook on a recent Sunday? I hear 23 times. -Jason, the ring may be fit for a "horseman", but really now. whos emother wuold give a girl a $14,000 ring that is only insured for $17.50? -Larry D, why are you staying out of the picture lately? We all miss you! -Ted, you really should buy yourself a vacuum cleaner; aren't the rug burns painful? -Phillip, do tell all about your excursion to Pennsylvania from the "club. Was it a worthwhile trip? Tom P, are you sure that was your first time? I find that hard to swallow!-DM, has anyone told you that you have very sexy table legs, including the one with the notches? -It's rumored that James W was at Dean's recently and drank himself "straight". Is it true? -Mary and Vince, shame on you for letting poor Shellie get drunk on his birthday. He was so sick and didn't get out of bed for 36 hours. Gee, how lucky!

Artie, why are you singing "Rosalie?" Who is the lucky girl? -Hasn't anyone told Bill T that

he's supposed to jump from square 1 to 2 in hopscotch, not from 1 to 4? Just where will the "Tease of West 6th" jump next? -Ken K, what's this about changing positions? Another job, or just a tickling fancy? -Sally, your arrows really do hit the spot.

--

Jerry, don't worry, broken hearts never last more than an hour or two. -Jim T, so good to see you out again. -Mark, never knew you were afraid of cameras. Do you have something to hide. or is "mum" the word? -Grandma, how was the trip to Florida? Hope you didn't feel

guilty while all of us were up here, in amazement. -Mother W, sorry to hear of your accident. That's what happens when you try to "soar" to new heights. -Katie, are you sure you got those scrapes while looking at the Sculpture at Edgewater? How gullible do you think we are? The Clock At The Astor" is "At

Cleveland's answer to “Under

Arcade Art." More trysts center around there than can be written about. -Shel L, you have something we are all envious of. Think about it. One of the first discrimination cases to be filed by a male is in the works, or so goes the rumor. From the sound of things, this culd be a scandalous affair. And, Steve, you just never know when "Queen Nancy" may make another appearance. I bet you didn't think you'd get caught! Wasn't it funny that "Homer's Secretary" would be the one to reveal all about Jeannette? Small world, isn't it? Good luck on your move.

To all of those who may think that they are mentioned here (but really aren't): many people have the same first names; don't let a guilty conscience allow you to read too much into things.

You were promised another contest, and here it is! Send in your suggestions for substitute words for "straight" or "breeder" to: Jeannette, c/o High GEAR, P.O. Box 6177, Cleveland, Ohio, 44101. The person submitting the winning entry will receive a gift certificate at Arcade Art. All entries must be postmarked by September 18, 1981.

Will I see you in September?! hope so!!!

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